the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
