i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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