Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
