You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
