I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you had me at cake vodka
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
