Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
