so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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