Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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