I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
