i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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