I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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