He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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