I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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