Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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