I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
