She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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