i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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