You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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