I just cut my nipple shaving
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
