just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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