someone threw a dead crab at me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
