why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
