i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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