Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
