If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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