so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
