If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
