Me too!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
