i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You have to summon your inner elephant
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
