All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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