yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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