I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
