Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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