I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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