I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
