Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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