If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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