I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize