I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.