So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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