Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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