lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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