Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
