Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
