i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
