Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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