In the future we'll all be gay
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
bring money and cleavage
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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