I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.