the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?