I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha