He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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