haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...