i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.