How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
