If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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