Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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