Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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