You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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