I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
