Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Are my feet made of real feet?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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