the day after is always just damage control
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
